


Thinking about him

by AniZH



Category: Boy Meets World
Genre: M/M, One-Sided Attraction
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-08-23
Updated: 2015-08-23
Packaged: 2018-04-16 21:28:17
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 930
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4640823
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/AniZH/pseuds/AniZH
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Sometimes, he thinks about him when he touches himself. It doesn't mean a thing. Does it?</p>
            </blockquote>





	Thinking about him

**Author's Note:**

> Hi, there.  
> I am totally not sure if I tagged everything the right way. Please tell me if I should put it differently. Also, it's very short. Sorry.  
> I hope you enjoy it anyway. :)

The first time it happens, he doesn’t think much of it.  
He has had this date with this girl and they have made out the whole time. Afterwards, he of course has shared with Cory. He has told him everything as he usually does.  
After he has gone home to the trailer and everything has turned dark and silent, he starts touching himself. He has done that for some time now and with closed eyes he thinks about his date, about the girl. He imagines her lips on his, while he slowly strokes himself. He imagines her hand on his back, pulling him close. It has been as if she wanted to absorb him.  
He smiles slightly as he rememberes how Cory has looked at him when he has told him exactly that. Cory’s face, filled with surprise, excitement and possibly a little disgust.  
Cory’s reactions are always priceless and Shawn rememberes every one of them as he has told him everything about his latest date.  
He finally cums when he thinks of Cory’s eyes as he has told him about his hand slipping slightly under the girl’s shirt, touching her naked skin.  
It’s because he rememeres his own words which have made the date come to life again. It isn’t because he imagines Cory.

It happens from time to time. It means nothing.  
This time is different. Cory has just been with him in his room at Mr. Turner’s. They have talked about a school project and right before Cory has had to go home, they finally have had the most brilliant idea. They have had high-fived a few times and they are used to touch in that way. They already have been much closer in a physical way. After all, they have been friends for a long time, and at the moment, hugging each other isn’t the coolest thing to do but they did it already. Not to mention the times they have been pressed against each other as they have hid in narrow spaces to avoid trouble.  
But this time, Shawn isn’t able to forget the touch. It nearly burns. And thinking about all the other times they have already touched to calm himself down, doesn’t help at all.  
He doesn’t know when he has started touching himself but he has. He closes his eyes and for the first time, he imagines Cory on purpose in front of him.  
As he opens his eyes he sees Cory sitting at the end of his bed where he has sat mere minutes ago, and he cums.

He doesn’t know why.  
He tries to figure out what’s going on. He tries imagining other guys but it does nothing for him. Instead, it feels terrible.  
He still likes girls. He likes girls a lot. He enjoys every kiss and every make-out, every date and every smile. He needs to calm himself down from time to time when he is on a date, he needs to take cold showers.  
But somehow, for some reason, he isn‘t just able to get off with the thought of one of the girls he dated, he kissed, but also with the thought of Cory though they have never kissed. He never even imagines it. He doesn’t need to.

He loves Angela. He not only loves her looks which he liked about many of the other girls he dated but he actually loves her. He loves her energy, her will, her passion  
She drives Cory out of his mind, even when they don’t date anymore. Maybe she is the one. Maybe she is the one who he is supposed to be with for the rest of his life.  
But he ruined it and he can’t go back. He can’t have her back.  
He still thinks about her. He also thinks about her when he is alone in his dorm room, when Cory is out somewhere and he has the room for himself. But in the end it’s never the memories of Angela’s smile, her eyes, her body or making out with her that gets him off. It’s always the smell of Cory.

Topanga knows. She has known for a long time how much he loves him. She knows that he does love him in that certain way and possibly she knew already when Shawn still tried to deny it for himself.  
He doesn’t know if he loves him more than she does. She believes it. He doesn’t care because it doesn’t change a thing about Cory’s feelings. And as much as Cory loves him, Shawn, he obviously decided to be with Topanga.  
It’s okay. He just wants him to be happy. He still has his thoughts. He doesn’t need to actually kiss him or go any further. They hug and that’s enough. Cory smiles and his world is bright. Cory says he wants to see him and he is there.  
He isn’t gay. He never tries to be with a guy but he doesn’t need to. He knows that it doesn’t do anything for him. It’s just Cory. Cory is the one who gets him off. Cory is the one his whole world revolves around. Cory is the one he can’t live without. Cory is the one he would die for and whom he lives for.  
Topanga knows and she still hugs him tight when they are finally in New York together. She wants him there. Because she also wants Cory to be happy. And Cory needs him as well.  
He’ll just never need him as much as Shawn needs him. He’ll just never feel the same.


End file.
